Do you feel like you and your partner are stuck in a rut, or have the same fight over and over, and don’t know another way?
Are you committed to the relationship and willing to experience vulnerability in order to foster a deeper connection?
My work helps committed-but-distressed partnerships gain greater insight into the relationship patterns that are repetitive and difficult to alter. I call these patterns the “cycles,” and “dances” that we do. They feel never ending and never resolved.
The Emotionally-Focused Model of Couples Therapy (EFT) helps couples understand the negative cycle that emerges within their relationship. The theory of attachment, when applied to a couple’s issues, distills the problems into clearer components. If needed to conceptualize, I often will diagram the cycle in the form of an infinity loop for clients to see how it unfolds, and their roles being more clearly defined. Couples recognize the repetition and learn communication skills that avoid escalation to unmanageable levels. But more importantly to the relationship, partners develop trust and security, achieve better connection, and the cycle’s intensity diminishes. EFT is an experiential model and we practice effective relational strategies in our sessions.
EFT is the only intervention model that uses a scientifically-proven theory of adult bonding: Attachment theory. Attachment theory is an essential component to explain the joy and pain between partners, and most important, the primal need to matter to our partner. Partners become more secure in the partnership and develop a deeper, more trusting, more meaningful relationship. The EFT model demonstrates the importance of Attachment Theory in our relationships.
We begin our work with four consultation sessions. We meet as a couple for the first session and then separately for the second and third sessions. We come together for the fourth session for the assessment and treatment plan. I meet with couples weekly for 60-75 minutes, unless otherwise indicated. I offer the use of video recording our sessions, especially in highly-escalated relationships. This can be helpful to gain greater insight into the interaction. It is an optional service, and requires prior consent.
If you and your partner are interested in working on your relationship, please contact me to schedule an initial appointment. I prefer email so that I do not hear one person’s story before having the chance to meet both partners.