EFT Couples Therapy
Are You Struggling With Challenges In Your Relationship?
Our lives are defined by how we relate to the people around us. Conflict is inevitable, but how we experience and respond to these issues impacts our relationships. Well-documented research correlates satisfying relationships to being happier and reduced symptoms of anxiety and depression.
Past and current experiences impact our relationships; trauma from childhood, acute and painful events, previous relationships, and daily stressors affect our attachment patterns and how we interact with our partners. When the attachment feels shaky, it is challenging to overcome conflicts, which causes more anxiety. Working with a couples therapist helps you identify the origins of your pain and understand your partner’s suffering. This new process promotes healing.
Emotionally-Focused Therapy For Couples Gets To The Root Of Relationship Issues
Do you and your partner argue more than you want? Do different arguments seem the same, and appear to go endlessly around and around? At some point in the argument do you feel you just don’t matter?
“We need to improve our communication” is the most common complaint from couples who seek therapy. In reality, that’s the “tip of the iceberg.” Underneath the “communication issues” are unmet, and often unknown, attachment needs. When we are unaware of these needs, we behave reactively. This can cause our partner to turn away, making us angrier and creating a negative cycle.
If you are a couple having repetitive conflicts that seem to go in circles, in Emotionally-Focused Therapy (EFT) you will work together to understand negative patterns and experience corrective healing. Communication issues, lack of intimacy, and fighting are consequences of deeper, unmet attachment needs in the relationship. In EFT, you and your partner access your past and present attachment experiences at the root of these arguments.
EFT provides you and your partner with a safe space to address struggles. You will inevitably feel judgment from your partner, but in EFT, as an experiential modality, what you feel in the moment is used to understand the breakdown in the relationship. EFT is also a client-centered approach to couples therapy and marriage counseling. You work towards solutions that align with your collective and individual values.
Within this therapeutic space of safety and trust, you cultivate a healthier, deeper bond that facilitates greater empathy, understanding, and healing in your relationship.
What Can You Expect From My Couples Therapy Sessions?
I begin with a four-session Consultation. You’ll meet together in the first and fourth sessions and individually in the two middle sessions. In the fourth session, I share how I see your couples therapy moving forward.
In therapy sessions, we use your daily encounters as jumping-off points and process them to understand the underlying emotions at work. EFT encourages couples to practice and experience new ways of communicating, which leads to corrective emotional and relationship healing.
EFT is a highly successful modality because it starts with the couple in conflict, works to de-escalate the situation, and moves to a vulnerable, emotional place where we attain the connection we seek.
My MOST Frequently Asked Questions About Couples Therapy...
At what point in a relationship should we consider couples therapy?
You should seek couples therapy when you have doubts about your committed relationship. Being proactive and not waiting for the crisis prevents additional challenges, enhances your understanding of yourself, and strengthens your relationship in profound and lasting ways. “The longer you wait, the longer it takes.” In my therapy practice, I understand the longer the struggles, the longer the time in therapy, and the harder it is to alter the communication (see question 3).
Can you help me get my partner to hear what I'm telling them?
Yes, and I’ll make sure that you do the same. Neither person is my client; the “relationship” is the client. Unless there is physical or sexual abuse, both partners contribute to the negative cycle. It is most effective that couples begin with the concept “everything is 50/50,” even seeking therapy. We look at issues from your AND your partner’s perspective, which is how safety is built in counseling, a relationship, and a marriage.
How long is couples therapy?
Like any healing process, the duration depends on the situation. Although EFT couples therapy often shows results within 15 sessions, circumstances such as past traumas, affairs, and betrayals in either partner’s life influence treatment length.
If you still have questions about my practice or want to learn more about the logistics of my services, check out my FAQs page.
Ready? Your Relationship Doesn’t Have To Be So Complicated
If you seek more connection and are ready to interrupt the cycle of arguing, EFT couples therapy offers compassionate guidance and support. Please call, (646) 543-9791, contact me or schedule your free, 15-minute phone or Zoom consultation to see how my approach to online couples counseling changes the trajectory of your relationship or marriage.
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