By exploring aspects of Attachment and Humanist theories, along with the EFT model, we can uncover why conflict might be the very thing that helps relationships thrive.

However, today’s inspiration comes from what seems to be a looming government shutdown, and what the leadup can teach us about relationships.

he infinity loop maps out the cycle in a way that is so clear to both me and my clients. The more I use it, the more it resonates for me. It may also be activated within the session, thankfully though worked with more proactively if a therapist is present.

Earlier this month, an interesting moment in my career occurred for me: I became an “expert.”- Even more jarring is the idea that I could be an expert in road rage.

This dance, or cycle, like the other two I’ve written about recently in my blog, is defined by entrenched behaviors from both partners. However, calling this a “dance” is a bit misleading, because in essence, neither partner is doing much of anything, aside from shutting down or checking out.

It’s an oft-used expression to describe one way of handling our emotions, “shutting down.” But what is happening, and how do we handle it?

Have you ever felt so overwhelmed by a situation that you didn’t know what to say at all? If so, then I think this post might be for you…

I notice that we often have relationships which involve moments we don’t always get quite…“right.” Most of the time we might see fighting in this way, in the “Find The Bad Guy” dance.

Somehow, the phrase “the Protest Polka” doesn’t quite capture the negative cycle like I wish it would; “polka” feels fun! But this polka is anything but fun. But, the important part of the phrase is “protest,” and not “polka,” so that is where we focus our attention, we can see a lot of examples of protesting these days.

After an argument with your partner, do you find yourself wondering why you said some of the things you did? You may even start this second-guessing as soon as the words leave your mouth.

"We don't know how to communicate." Those six words speak volumes about an intimate relationship that has shifted into a superficial – and for most, quite difficult – routine.

Do you and your partner feel as though you replay the same arguments over and over without resolving anything?

The “Opinionator/Couch” series of articles in the New York Times – it has apparently been running for years – is a personal favorite. Written from a clinician’s or patient’s first-hand perspective, it documents the inevitable struggles and successes in therapy.