I help clients that sense something is missing in their lives but cannot pinpoint the issue. A Focusing approach helps us bring an issue “into focus.” This is a collaborative process that involves my engagement to get to a deeper understanding of you. In humanism, you are the expert in your own life. I believe that you have the answers but that they are sometimes difficult to recognize. That’s okay. We figure out what you want to change and evaluate potential answers. I help people that are not okay with everything being just “okay,” but that is different to each one of us. We are all unique, which is existentially fascinating, but also a challenge.
Emotions are also at the center of our work. The word “visceral” is powerful for me, because it literally translates (“viscera” meaning abdominal organs) to a part of the body. It shows that the “visceral reaction” is actually experienced in the body. Because we are feeling this, we can name emotions that are attached to this sense. Instead of acting out on those emotions, for example, through drugs or alcohol, or food, or co-dependent relationships, we can make more sense of them and learn ways to cope with those emotions to get closer to where we want to be.
I wrote about burnout in a newsletter, Practice of the Practice, in June, 2017, and how it happens both physically (working too much or in a setting I don’t want to be in) and emotionally (not doing what I am drawn to do). Burnout can be applied in our lives and the relationships we have, not just those pertaining to work. When we find that what we are repeatedly doing does not match what we want, and we feel that viscerally, we will burnout.
When we are okay with the present, we discover steps that are “good enough” and create a plan for meeting whatever the need is. In my career, life is an ongoing iteration. In our work together, we try new things and then adjust what works and what doesn’t. I love helping people find what’s right for them, rather than what is “right.”
Lastly, I believe humor is important — if not vital — to the process. When we can laugh about things – maybe not the most gruesome or serious — we understand funny things happen even to the best of us. This is not such a bad thing. There is a lightness to humor, and I have found that it can also help us to develop a sense of security that we are “just human.” Also, it rarely, if ever, feels bad to feel lightness.